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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?